Mr Superyacht or Beach Boho — which swimming trunk tribe are you?

Time was when getting changed to go swimming was so simple. A pair of Speedos and off we went, without a care in the world, safe in the knowledge that the other men on the beach would be similarly attired. It was a sort of convention — beach and pool was a non-fashion arena for blokes. Of course there were a few variations care of surf dudes in longer baggy things and a few old-timers rocking the sorts of shorts more associated with a bygone age, but generally speaking, like Ray Winstone in Sexy Beast, we tended to all be smuggling budgies to varying degrees.
Back when men gave as much thought to their swimwear as they did to their moisturising routine, Adam Brown, a photographer, was on holiday with friends when he had an epiphany. Around the pool were all manner of chicly attired women while the menfolk looked, well, like a bunch of scruffs who’d pulled out some trunks from the bottom of the dirty washing pile.
Brown decided that the time had come to create an alternative and so in 2007 Orlebar Brown was born, offering the type of tailored swim shorts that Burt Lancaster would have recognised from his turn in 1968’s The Swimmer. The Orlebar Brown Bulldog style, its first design, with its distinctive side fastenings and sartorial cut based on that of classic men’s tailored trousers, was something of a game-changer, suggesting that a man could, and should, dress well for the seaside. The idea, says Brown, was that you could wear a pair of Orlebar Brown shorts in the water and then to the beach bar or restaurant and feel appropriately stylish.
Today Orlebar Brown is well known not only for making swim shorts with a stylish silhouette, but also for featuring photographic prints and patterns on its swimwear and accompanying resort wear. Along with the brand Frescobol Carioca, which makes classy patterned beach-to-bar swim shorts (see the Angra Clube design that alludes to poolside mosaics and Rio de Janeiro’s art deco-inspired architecture), we see Orlebar Brown as the choice attire for propping up the beach bar. But Brown is a member of just one of a host of contemporary swimwear tribes.
Let’s start with the Fashionista. The Fashionista is a guy who knows his brands and wants you to know he does. The model David Gandy may have shot to fame in a pair of white Dolce & Gabbana briefs for the Italian label’s Light Blue fragrance ad, but today a Dolce & Gabbana fan is more likely to be in a pair of the Italian label’s swim shorts sporting a logo or print, like the house signature leopard print.
Similarly, Gucci guy likes you to read his allegiance — witness the mini-GG logo swim shorts in beige with the house green-red-green stripe at the sides. At Versace you will of course find board shorts, swim shorts and briefs in the label’s barocco print, as well as many styles with the gold Greca border motif on the waistband and with a centrally placed gold Medusa head. A symbol of past conquests, perhaps?
Another fashion-aware group is less inclined to advertise its allegiances. The Stylishly Modest will seek out brands like Tom Ford, Celine and Zegna. This is the “if you know, you know” approach. Here we should give the aforementioned Mr Gandy an honourable commendation too. Seems he so enjoyed his Dolce & Gabbana experience that he’s designed his own. David Gandy Wellwear’s Ultimate Swimshorts come in block colours of red, forest green and navy, and two lengths — mid and short. Gandy personally prefers the latter, which he says are inspired by Seventies’ running shorts and describes as having a “flattering but not indecent length.” And he should know.
Less anonymous are the Sexy Beasts, who are here to have some Brit-on-the-beach fun. Burberry has its house checks, including a pair of checked briefs that would make Ray Winstone proud, while the more playful, colourful patterns of the likes of Richard James and Paul Smith speak of arty flamboyance — see Richard James’s waves print and Paul Smith’s signature stripe and floral designs.
Meanwhile, the Welsh Hollywood actor Luke Evans has co-founded BDXY, a resort range for buff blokes like himself who see the beach as a type of real world movie set. His Atmos Mirrorzag swimbrief with its graphic lines, taken from a tiled floor the actor likes, is a handsome posing piece.
Adjacent to this look is the Beach Boho — a man who channels a bit of vintage, a bit of street market, a bit of art and craft. The Belgian designer Dries Van Noten fits this bill with his fitted printed swim shorts, as does the Italian label Missoni, famous for its striped knitwear, with its multicoloured zigzag swim shorts that pay homage to the brand’s history of creating innovative knits.
A lesser-known player for our salty bohemians is ABTANY, a luxury British brand launched in 2020, which features motifs hand-painted by its Iranian founder, Sourena Ghaffari, inspired by the culture, specifically the architecture, of his homeland (aab tani means “playing in water” in Persian).
However, if it’s more of a Euro Dad vibe you are after, head to Vilebrequin, which opened in St Tropez in 1971 and makes all manner of plain and patterned swim shorts that have a sunny Côte d’Azur spirit. Its classic style, a French take on the Californian board short, has fun prints like multicoloured turtles, starfish or sea shells. Keep an eye out for father and son in matching patterns, a cute mini-me exercise.
The American equivalent of Euro Dad is Hamptons Weekender. This man gets out of Manhattan on a Friday night and heads to the beach playground of the well-heeled. Of course he’ll fly the stars and stripes in preppy Ralph Lauren, where you will find the Traveller Swimming Trunk, a swim short with drawstring waist and a back flap pocket with button fastening that comes in plain warm weather brights, some subtle seersuckers, a gingham version and a patchwork model in a mix of plaid and tropical prints.
If he’s signalling a more worldly outlook, this guy may turn to Brunello Cucinelli, who has become the go-to outfitter for off-duty Wall Street. These modern day Masters of the Universe are into the “quiet luxury” of the brands like Cucinelli and Loro Piana. Cucinelli has mid-length plain and paisley patterned swim shorts with a drawstring and discreet house crest on the left leg, while the Loro Piana also has a drawstring style with a subtle brand motif — the Bay Swim Short — that comes in multiple plain shades and a shirting-look vertical stripe in two colours. Loro Piana, it should be noted, does have a history of making sailing attire and pioneered a “Storm System” treatment that enables natural materials like wool, vicuña and cashmere to become weather-resistant.
And then there is Mr Superyacht. This tribe divides into two camps. On the one hand there is the man who does not leave the sun deck of his vessel and thus he will avoid testing the functionality of his swimwear. For those who do want to leap off the tender, Stone Island and Moncler do tech-looking swim shorts that, while not exactly surfer dude (that’s better achieved with brands like Rip Curl or Finisterre that were created by surfers), suggest you can do more than a couple of widths of the local pool. Stone Island’s slim-fit swimming trunks have useful side pockets, a patch pocket with a Velcro closure at the back, an elasticated waist with drawstring and two-button fastening and are made from Econyl Regenerated Nylon.
Apologies if you find yourself aligned to none of the above. The long and the short of it, so to speak, is that today’s designer swimwear will likely make you look infinitely better than anything you might have worn back when swimming more usually meant verucas and chlorine rather than sun, sea and sand.
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